Words I Don't Hate

Some words that I don't hate:

Singularity: not sure why.

Sphincter: It's a fancy-sounding word that's kinda nasty--the best kind. Plus I get the sense that I'm pronouncing every letter when I say it. Nothing wasted in sphincter, no siree. My junior year there was a girl I had eyes for who asked me whether I knew what it meant. Her assumption took some of the shine off of her, I mean the whole point of using a word like that is because YOU know what it means. When someone is in your face and you call them a sphincter, they know they should be insulted...they know that someone is calling them something bad, but since they don't know what it means, their brain puts out mixed signals, and nine times out of ten, they just sorta wander off--occaionsally towards the nearest dictionary.

Smegma: This is similar to Sphincter--obscure but nasty. Mostly I have to thank the UK TV show Red Dwarf for this one, although they claim that they never meant smegma, when they created SMEG as their all-purpose swear-word. Either way, I even made a t-shirt that said Smegma in big letter and wore it around school. Nobody objected.

Criminy: One of my favorite interjections---a double whammy of quaint and retro. According to the dictionary of slang, it's Etymology can be traced to Christ. It belongs in the same category as jeez, golly, goldarnit, sheesh, Jiminy Christmas--you get the idea. Hmm, pantheon is a pretty schmancy word too.

Frack: Yes. It's because of Battlestar Galactica that I picked up this gem. I usually combine it with bloody, to make bloody frack. I joke that I'm taking my typing teacher's name in vain. My freshman year my typing teacher was named Mrs. Frack. I think I got a C in typing, but as it stands, I can type about 80wpm, so I must've learned something.

Still feelin' The Hate

Someone asked me why I hated blogs. It was the one comment to my first post that wasn't some kind of spam. Almost six months has passed since I posted that, and I'm still not to keen on blogs. I think my hatred is just a projection of my own self-image. I hate myself, see, and therefore, anything I would "blog" must also be hated, dispised, or at least mildly disliked.

The other thing about blogs is the name. I can't but help to think of some fecal meaning for the word blog, but maybe that's due to my own deeply carved character flaws.

Oh...and then there's "blog-ness" or that sense that what people write in blogs isn't really "true" in the sense that it's an accurate reflection of their inner beings. Blogs create their own level of reality, that for all we know is as fake as James Frey's memoirs, or Demi Moore's thingies, or Paris Hilton's nose...yikes it's fun to talk about fake things. JT Leroy, fake, Howard Hughes biography, fake, Hilter's diary, fake, the fat in Olestra chips, fake, your outrage that I'm using commas where semi-colons or colons should be used, also quite fake.

So my hatred for blogs isn't at all knee-jerk, it's actually something I agonized over a period of several heart-wrenching and brain-wringing minutes of my unworthy existance. And by unworthy, I mean, still more worthy than yours.

Contradiction, is like contraception, only with diction instead of ception.

FIN

Hate blogs lots.

I really hate blogs. Lots. I'm not kidding. I'm full of darkness and hatred for them.